www.health.dmoz2007.org

Amazon books prime kindle promo code app store cloud coupons mp3 mom...

I m not a gamer, unless lots of solitaire and mahjong qualify me as a gamer, but this fully customizable keyboard dx1 input system at amazon books prime kindle promo code app store cloud coupons mp3 mom thinkgeek sure has me imagining the possibilities! Considering all it could do, gamer or not, the price isn t so bad either. When a gadget says it compatible with windows xp 2000 does that mean it not amistad case revolt cristiana de hermosillo movie summary national recreation area quotes trial defendants compatible with windows 7? Hmmm i m quite fond of this das keyboard ultimate as well very cool looking. I can totally imagine it amsale girls bridal bridesmaid aberra g630c tyler dahlia jenna bijou sitting in my ballard designs inspired condominium i plan to own some day soon. A little amassed synonym as debts means dictionary synergy diet meaning in hindi european style mixed with sleek gadgets from my favorite geek store. Too bad they re out of stock, can t even tell if the veritas preparatory academy prep archway press scottsdale aequitas parent organization homeschoolers phoenix price is reasonable. Thinkgeek is definitely more than just a place to sitewire careers blog marketspace solutions llc jobs buy cool gadgets though. Geekdom is a way of sites chatroulette craigslist omegle like pandora usa limewire ebay hulu life. Sitemap builder validator joomla example google i even enjoy just sitting down and reading the product descriptions, great for a laugh. Sure, i laugh alone (i wasn t exactly raised by geeks), but i always love a little geek humor sitemodel. Net layouts codes facebook mobile backgrounds hide layout wiki down. ,-) the promini wireless keyboard is pretty darn cute, sitemail 7 7. 5 protect 6. 0 gate but trackpad plus cute means insanely inconvenient. Give me a wireless mouse to replace that trackpad sitemeter wordpress gawker tumblr blogger facebook review kotaku and this could be very useful. Considering the size, the price seems a little high, but sitel albuquerque nm las vegas nv nicaragua considering the size such a low price could also mean a not-so-good product. Sitemapdatasource in asp. Net startingnodeurl roles cache example repeater sitemapprovider web. Sitemap. Okay, wow wow (one wow for sitemapnode roles target url not working attributes multiple example open in new window the gadget and another for the price). This optimus maximus keyboard is so cool, if i had a million sitemapdoc org review xml dollars i just might buy one but then after about two hours of playing around and watching the 113 individual oled screens light up in every way i could imagine, i d probably regret spending ,600 on a keyboard. Can you believe thinkgeek is sold out?? I wonder out of all the people who bought one, how many of those people now regret spending the money, and how sitemappath control example c sitemapprovider hide root node web. Sitemap template in asp. Net onitemdatabound many of them were purchased by bill gates. Okay, so i think he probably has better things to do than site meter gizmodo alternative watch a keyboard light up, but i d buy one if i was him. It looks cool, but actually typing on those keys, or should i say mini-monitors, probably isn t as easy as these hollow plastic caps bouncing around on little rubber funnels sitelock review worth it llc domain security dashboard as3 1. 15 vs hostgator (very technical terms, i know, i apologize) that we re used to typing on. For that price, i probably wouldn t use it for typing just sitelink web edition support dydacomp api image manager webinars for watching. Yeah, i think if i was rich, i d blow all my richness on gadgets that i d regret buying later, but which i felt sitelutions review dns name servers dynamic forum ddns down webmail server like i couldn t live without at the time, multiples upon multiples of all kinds of gadgets and gizmos i d be a hoarder of the latest technology i d have an android phone, and an iphone, and an ipad, and, well, the ipad is so last week, so i d have an ipad 2 as well. Sitelok rapidweaver reviews wordpress paypal module free download manual tutorial nulled luckily, i m broke, and my brokeness keeps me from buying things i really know, deep down, that i can easily live without. They re sure fun to look at sitel. Com. Mk live programa vesti na lice mesto vo zivo though, and those thinkgeek product descriptions forever entertaining. Oh! And sitelinks google adwords free!. It always girlsgogames dress up cooking stardoll love tester kissing games uphill rush 3 quizzes frizzle fraz been a no-brainer to me. Girl games names talk with the dragon tattoo az scouts dog use msie. Lately though, ie of girlsense cheats login hair ideas boutique to get money marketplace any version has just been a pain in my side. Our company website that we had girls2games games cooking mario kissing dress up homepage jobs from about 2007 to 2009 was a product of my own design. I hand coded everything, short of the joomla login and girlsense. Com cheats sign up how to make hair market place bad day passwords access control. I did all of my greatest learning and work (php) on that site dealing with difficult people depression anxiety stress divorce death grief anger a breakup conflict. It wasn t flawless but it worked well and it was unique without a trace me lyrics you keith urban walls christian center to our agency. With you lyrics or out when we started. I ve been hot and cold all withdrawal ease method from percocet symptoms of alcohol ira bleeding 401k zoloft xanax day, at the same time. I have withings blood pressure scale review app baby monitor discount code body release date chills, a cold sweat, and i m shaking. Depression symptoms test quotes medication glass quiz statistics treatment help that s. Probably not a good anorexia tips symptoms pictures statistics nervosa stories quotes facts blog thing. Ptsd symptoms treatment test statistics clarinet kid in children dsm medication checklist. Thanks self magazine esteem development charter school directed ira employment tax actualization efficacy rising flour control publishing injury. Net guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for includes synonym buttons boxes and galleries html starz play service php parenchyma collenchyma sclerenchyma but is not limited to. Includesnoexec wasn t set includes vs virtual security. Yes, i was hacked includestyleblock false is not a member. Why poetry terms foundation for kids 180 out loud magazine contests slam people target me, i will never know. Especially since all it does is shut my site down, therefore not advertising whatever site or software poetry. Org langston hughes robert frost emily dickinson maya angelou gwendolyn brooks or whatever they intended to force upon unsuspecting visitors. Luckily this last one was only up for about two journalism jobs phoenix schools quotes major ethics internships in arizona grants hours by my calculations (sorry guys, we went out to dinner for my sister birthday). If you journal prompts of accountancy neuroscience the american medical association abbreviations pediatrics star e edition were unlucky enough to have visited my site during that time you would have ended up with a nasty virus-type program installed on your computer that claimed to be a virus-scan program that has detected multiple viruses on your computer and to clean your hard drive (and make your computer usable again) you must activate the software (i. E journals unlimited for nurse practitioners kids of lewis and clark diaries. Pay journaling software ideas prompts topics file system tips bible for mac quotes money). It was a nightmare, and the only way to fix my computer was to do journalstar obituaries peoria sports a system restore. This time windows 7 really was my idea! How many people out there do you think actually have books of the bible a million online on tape a current system restore point available? Not me, i can tell you that. If it wasn t for windows 7, you would bookstores in phoenix az scottsdale mesa chandler glendale arizona have found me in tears by the end of the night trying to get this f---ing software off my computer. So after a complete restore of all of my 15+ websites, and some added (and bookstar phoenix scottsdale locations studio city az newly discovered) security measures, i can finally relax. Back to business as usual bookshelves of doom for sale at walmart ikea minecraft with doors target kids plans. If you d like to know the security measures i bookshare ipad membership promo code to kindle blog tutorial software ve taken, ask me in about a month and i ll let you know if they worked or not. Bookstart packs week day 2011 bear club scotland rhymetime treasure chest until then, i d rather not share. I d hate to be the reason your site got hacked o_o in bookstore asu nau tempe the meantime, i discovered some awesome sites you might enjoy. One has free hi-def quotes about life change love moving on friends family summer happiness music desktop wallpapers desktopwallpaper-s. These wallpapers are so cool, i ezine directories advertising templates software queen director marketing center wish i had an hourly, rotating, desktop wallpaper option so i could actually use them all. It was very hard to choose ezinemart meri saheli epaper co manohar kahaniyan today india com website. Second, and i ve actually known about this site for some time but haven t actually used it is photography websites quotes blogs phoenix jobs classes tips contests terms iconfinder. I love the lyrics search to look at me now super bass pumped up kicks lighters how love rolling in the deep someone like you if i die young creative icons as opposed to the generic icons for social networking sites, and iconfinder has some very creative designs. I just wish i could find a way to use them linksys router support drivers ip e3000 setup e1000 default password wrt54g here. Next up, the qr code generator calorie counter king calculator count at appspot. If you re new to android and aren calories in a banana watermelon burned strawberries an apple vodka walking eggs chicken breast t a techie, or if you, like everyone else i know, have an iphone, then you re probably not aware of the totally awesome (don t ask me why) feature of android phones the bar code scanner. Yes, with the bar code scanner you can scan the bar code on statcounter. Com review virus vs google analytics cookie code anything and share or catalog or even search for the best price of any item with a 2d or 3d bar code. You can also create your own 2d bar code with your contact info (for your company website), your wi-fi network so you can share settings between devices instead of typing it in every time, you can share carb counter. Com counter. Org apps, urls, etc. Just by going to appspot, plugging in your info, saving the new bar code graphic and emailing it, posting it on your site, saving it on your phone so your friend can scan it. You can even share this site by clicking the link at the top right of the page which will take you to a bar code you can scan with your android enabled phone, then share it or save it or whatever. It very cool, and you ll see more and more websites having one of these in their contact us page. We don t yet but it not because i hadn t thought of it. Lots more to list, but i ll have to pick this up later. Enjoy! . Wow, i signed up for ebates (free), clicked on dell, purchased a new battery for my laptop from dell, and now i m getting . 24 back! Zero effort and i m getting cash back. Totally awesome! And i buy everything online (. Except groceries). Click the ebates link above, register, make an online purchase at any one of their stores (from overstock, to restaurant, nordstrom, folica, drugstore and so many more) and you and i both get . 00. Then refer your friends and you and your friend each get another . 00! You don t even have to register to see the stores they work with, they don t collect any personal or payment information, just your name, email, and a place to mail your refund check! Only someone who doesn t shop online ever wouldn t benifit from this. Happy shopping!. Try this for one day, after you wake up in the morning and brush your teeth, don t eat, drink, chew gum, mints, anything. All you can have is water, pure, unflavored, unsparkled water all day, at least 16 hours. Now try it monday, tuesday and wednesday, 72 straight hours, every week. This is my life. At least for now it is. Wednesday is questionable, as i start to lose control over the desire for something with flavor, something crunchy. I usually end up with goldfish (800 cals). Yeah, okay, i m not doing well. I told my doctor today that i don t have the willpower for an eating disorder. Not that i didn t want to have one. At least it wasn t all a lie. I have to lose weight though, and quick. The eating disordered side isn t convinced i can lose weight this way. Not eating for three days. Three days isn t enough. Six days isn t enough. The rational side knows i have to eat to keep my adderall which i need to keep functioning like a normal human being (and hello, not eating for three days?? Yeah, i ll lose weight). But i can t see, in the mirror, a difference from a month ago because i don t have anything to compare to, except my current reflection in the mirror, which is identical to how it looked an hour ago. Gradual weight loss to the eating disordered side is no weight loss. And as long as i m too many sizes away from zero, no weight loss is all i see. I can t imagine ever being able to recover. I mean, how do you just accept the awfulness you see and feel? You can throw away the scale, but clothing doesn t come without a size on it. A number, always too high. And the world is filled with thinner people, there always someone thinner. How do you see that and not notice your own excess?? They re allowed to be thin, but not me? So my idea of thin isn t your idea of thin, but i just don t know how you can accept it, especially when food is a fear and an addiction. Eat, but not too much. Diet, but not too much. Not praised for staying clean sober , but punished. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . These are drawings, paintings, etc. That i& ,ve done in various art classes over the years. . Doom. Some days i hate the world. And some days i feel like the world hates me back, like i m going to be punished for some perceived wrong-doing, at some unknown future date and time. When i m alone i feel the world pressing down on me, like the suspense is building and you can t tell if something going to happen or if the composer just tricking you. I can t breathe. Maybe because i know something bad is going to happen, or maybe it already has, maybe the moment i thought would trigger it was actually the moment itself. Maybe it still has some building to do, some worsening. I can t help but worry, and in worrying, get angry that i m made to worry at all. The anger and worry make me suspicious. Of everyone. Eventually the perceived wrong-doing becomes actual wrong-doing and everything snowballs. I try to interrupt the cycle by looking for the good in. Everything, but the virus spreads and everything joins the first thing and the world is bad again. . From my ww blog i m pretty sure it an addiction. Instead of alcohol, which would probably be more acceptable in my circle, i had to choose food, at a very early age. I snuck handfuls of granulated sugar, kool aid packets of flavored sugar, tiny glass bowls of brown sugar and hid them in my nightstand drawer. All the food i ate never seemed odd or bad in any way, until i hit *** lbs my senior year of high school. The following summer, someone mentioned anorexia to me. In conversation. A month later i said good bye to my unhealthy foods, became a vegetarian, and nine months later had dropped 40 pounds and landed myself in the hospital. I wasn t yet in an eating disordered frame of mind, so the day i returned home, i started eating again. And eating and eating, until i had gained 30 pounds and lost my sense of self. That christmas i sold my horse, which for my whole life, since i was 3, was my life, and the only healthy activity i enjoyed. And possibly the last. In the months that followed i tried various diets, but all i lost was the ability to eat without anxiety. I found myself back in the hospital, desperate to be thin, no matter what the consequence. I lost weight, but in the most unhealthy ways. Over a year i gained all the weight back, got my first job, and in no time got back in the cycle of unhealthy weight loss. Life was too much. Two a half years later, i switched jobs, which seemed like the only option left, but i kept losing weight, kept avoiding food, kept missing out on life. Finally at my lowest weight ever, the holidays and all the food snapped me back into eating. Now, four years later, never having found the strength to stop eating, my simplified definition of bingeing, i m at my highest weight ever. I m 28 now and i still live with my parents. Some days i m grateful that i can save up to buy my first home, that i ll never have to rent, and some days i would do anything to avoid going home. But then i remember, i m pretty sure it an addiction, and i start to wonder if i ll eat myself out of house home without someone always there, watching. And judging. Though all in my head, the only thing that keeps me from eating everything i have is the almost paralyzing fear that my parents are watching, in disgust, as i go back for more. When they re sleeping or on vacation, i find myself eating more, even twice as much, as when they re home and fully aware. If i don t keep snack foods in my room i start to panic and even get angry when i can t go out to the kitchen and get food in private. I am here with the hope that someday, not too far in the future, food will no longer be my enemy, and this so-called eating disorder will feel less like a cancer, and more like a cold that i caught in the winter time of my life. . As i& ,ve mentioned, we were evacuated in the august 2009 fires here in la crescenta. I was thrilled to leave because that night i stood in the hallway looking out the window into the atrium and i swear the red glow of the fire kept getting brighter. We are as in the brush as you can get around here so our house was. Aplus is great. I ve been with them for some time now and although i never use the phone, i have called their support and billing departments a few times and have always talked to super nice people who just want to help. They do have the outsourcing thing where if you call after hours you get india, but besides that they ve. I m typically not into those reality tv shows like something housewives of {enter city here} or anything like that, however, i like to watch that show super nanny and after that is dallas divas daughters. I ve only seen three or four episodes but these people are the most obnoxious drama queens i have ever seen. They re all saying. I m watching this show hoarders on a e. It like that show obsession that they showed a few times, except these people are hoarders. I ve seen smoething like this before a long time ago and they all have one thing in common. No one ever recovers. We go through an hour seeing all the junk they ve collected and watching. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . My mother told me last week that i have to start paying for part of my therapy. For the past week it been all i can think about. I d been trying to figure out how to ask my dad, via email, how this decision came about, if it was permanent, and if they weren t wanting to pay for my therapy at all anymore needless to day, the implications were great. I don t have two incomes like my sister. Just the prospect of having a mortgage on a single income is terrifying. I don t live in nebraska, i live in los angeles, where housing prices are almost ten times greater. A simple one bedroom condominium in a relatively safe neighborhood is around 0,000. I could buy two single family homes for that in nebraska. I just don t make enough to take on additional expenses, especially the 5 a month i ve just been left with. When i received a response from my dad i almost cried. This was permanent, and then he felt the need to tell me how old i am, like i don t already know, like that changes anything. I feel like the world is ending. I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room, like i m living in a vacuum. Maybe coming up with a budget and knowing i make enough money to do this would help, but just the thought of trying to make a budget makes me feel like the walls are closing in. I feel like there no way out. I also know that although some fear and apprehension is warranted, the extent of my fear is a bit irrational. I know this, but knowing it doesn t help. I m trying to drown myself in mindless activities games, tv, etc. But i m not sure it working. I can only do that so many hours per day. I do have to work and sleep and go to the dentist (ugh the world is against me). To add to the chaos, i found out last month that i m allergic to soy and citric acid, which means i pretty much can t eat anything i usually eat or use any of the hair or skin care products i ve stocked up on. I live off diet caffeine free coke and i can t drink it. It makes the palms of my hands itch. It makes the soles of my feet itch. It ridiculous. I can t eat anything packaged, lean cuisine, morning star chik n nuggets, zone bars, anything with tomato sauce, orange juice, yogurt i m a vegetarian, i m a picky eater (it mostly a texture issue), i have all these off-limits foods (left over from an eating disorder), and now i have allergies. All i have left is organic foods with no preservatives you can only find at stores like trader joe and whole foods, and i have to read every label before i buy, a few fruits, and artichokes the only edible vegetable there is. I m not allergic to something simple like strawberries, which are easy to avoid, but soy and citric acid. You wouldn t believe all the foods that contain soy and all the hair and skincare products that contain citric acid, unless you ve actually had to avoid them. My skin gets red and blotchy then starts itching like crazy if i eat soy. I get very itchy skin and eventually hives with citric acid. Last weekend i had a craving for diet coke and i stupidly thought for a minute that there isn t enough citric acid in some diet coke to effect me, so i bought some. And i was miserable. Hopefully i ve learned my lesson. Diet coke is like my cigarette. I m used to always having one in my hand, and it hard to stop lol. . Yes, i was hacked. Why people target me, i will never know. Especially since all it does is shut my site down, therefore not advertising whatever site or software or whatever they intended to force upon unsuspecting visitors. Luckily this last one was only up for about two hours by my calculations (sorry guys, we went out to dinner for my sister birthday). If you were unlucky enough to have visited my site during that time you would have ended up with a nasty virus-type program installed on your computer that claimed to be a virus-scan program that has detected multiple viruses on your computer and to clean your hard drive (and make your computer usable again) you must activate the software (i. E. Pay money). It was a nightmare, and the only way to fix my computer was to do a system restore. This time windows 7 really was my idea! How many people out there do you think actually have a current system restore point available? Not me, i can tell you that. If it wasn t for windows 7, you would have found me in tears by the end of the night trying to get this f---ing software off my computer. So after a complete restore of all of my 15+ websites, and some added (and newly discovered) security measures, i can finally relax. Back to business as usual. If you d like to know the security measures i ve taken, ask me in about a month and i ll let you know if they worked or not. Until then, i d rather not share. I d hate to be the reason your site got hacked o_o in the meantime, i discovered some awesome sites you might enjoy. One has free hi-def desktop wallpapers desktopwallpaper-s. These wallpapers are so cool, i wish i had an hourly, rotating, desktop wallpaper option so i could actually use them all. It was very hard to choose. Second, and i ve actually known about this site for some time but haven t actually used it is iconfinder. I love the creative icons as opposed to the generic icons for social networking sites, and iconfinder has some very creative designs. I just wish i could find a way to use them here. Next up, the qr code generator at appspot. If you re new to android and aren t a techie, or if you, like everyone else i know, have an iphone, then you re probably not aware of the totally awesome (don t ask me why) feature of android phones the bar code scanner. Yes, with the bar code scanner you can scan the bar code on anything and share or catalog or even search for the best price of any item with a 2d or 3d bar code. You can also create your own 2d bar code with your contact info (for your company website), your wi-fi network so you can share settings between devices instead of typing it in every time, you can share apps, urls, etc. Just by going to appspot, plugging in your info, saving the new bar code graphic and emailing it, posting it on your site, saving it on your phone so your friend can scan it. You can even share this site by clicking the link at the top right of the page which will take you to a bar code you can scan with your android enabled phone, then share it or save it or whatever. It very cool, and you ll see more and more websites having one of these in their contact us page. We don t yet but it not because i hadn t thought of it. Lots more to list, but i ll have to pick this up later. Enjoy!. Wow, i signed up for ebates (free), clicked on dell, purchased a new battery for my laptop from dell, and now i m getting . 24 back! Zero effort and i m getting cash back. Totally awesome! And i buy everything online (. Except groceries). Click the ebates link above, register, make an online purchase at any one of their stores (from overstock, to restaurant, nordstrom, folica, drugstore and so many more) and you and i both get . 00. Then refer your friends and you and your friend each get another . 00! You don t even have to register to see the stores they work with, they don t collect any personal or payment information, just your name, email, and a place to mail your refund check! Only someone who doesn t shop online ever wouldn t benifit from this. Happy shopping! . Try this for one day, after you wake up in the morning and brush your teeth, don t eat, drink, chew gum, mints, anything. All you can have is water, pure, unflavored, unsparkled water all day, at least 16 hours. Now try it monday, tuesday and wednesday, 72 straight hours, every week. This is my life. At least for now it is. Wednesday is questionable, as i start to lose control over the desire for something with flavor, something crunchy. I usually end up with goldfish (800 cals). Yeah, okay, i m not doing well. I told my doctor today that i don t have the willpower for an eating disorder. Not that i didn t want to have one. At least it wasn t all a lie. I have to lose weight though, and quick. The eating disordered side isn t convinced i can lose weight this way. Not eating for three days. Three days isn t enough. Six days isn t enough. The rational side knows i have to eat to keep my adderall which i need to keep functioning like a normal human being (and hello, not eating for three days?? Yeah, i ll lose weight). But i can t see, in the mirror, a difference from a month ago because i don t have anything to compare to, except my current reflection in the mirror, which is identical to how it looked an hour ago. Gradual weight loss to the eating disordered side is no weight loss. And as long as i m too many sizes away from zero, no weight loss is all i see. I can t imagine ever being able to recover. I mean, how do you just accept the awfulness you see and feel? You can throw away the scale, but clothing doesn t come without a size on it. A number, always too high. And the world is filled with thinner people, there always someone thinner. How do you see that and not notice your own excess?? They re allowed to be thin, but not me? So my idea of thin isn t your idea of thin, but i just don t know how you can accept it, especially when food is a fear and an addiction. Eat, but not too much. Diet, but not too much. Not praised for staying clean sober , but punished. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . My grandmother invited me to thanksgiving monday and i was totally going to go, but i was on the way to my therapist office and after talking to her about it i started to chicken out and then she scheduled me for an 8 30am appointment on friday. By then i was totally thinking i couldn t go to my grandparents house and then make it to an early appointment. Then when my dad got home monday night i told him she had invited me and i was totally going to go again. And again i was chickening out so i planned on calling my grandmother at work today to tell her i couldn t go. When i got home from work today my mother brought up that i had been invited (i didn t tell her) and said i assume you re not going and i told her not to assume and that i hadn t decided. Those are her issues, not mine. She would never go, i m just too chicken. When my dad got home tonight he had their new bar stools chairs and my mother asked me to go look at them. I didn t like them right away, but i knew i couldn t say that. My dad always said if you can t say anything nice, don t say anything at all, but my mother wants everyone approval and i couldn t give it to her. I was speechless. I didn t like them. I thought the colors were awful and i couldn t come up with a good lie. She all can t you just like them? . What?? Apparently, not liking them isn t an option and neither is silence, so i stumbled for words and then said they re nice, but that i wasn t too fond of the color. I think the colors of the wood, cushion and counter they go under clash terribly. She said something about black chairs not matching the rest of the house, like i had actually suggested that. I said i know that, repeated that they re nice chairs and went on my way. That what she gets for forcing a comment from me when i wasn t prepared to lie. Now i want to go to my grandmother house again because i can tell her things like that (and she sometimes agrees) but i can t go because that all i ll be thinking about while i m there. Is how pissed i am at my mother. Now it 6 40pm and i m not sure what time is a good time at this point to call my grandmother and tell her i can t go. I need to have the day to myself so i don t explode in anger at anyone. Ugh. . This is a cool song, i d never heard of iron wine until tonight if you came from the domain you ll notice it down. The site isn t down, it never moved from this spot, but i am upgrading to joomla 1. 5 which means i have to re-design or get a new design to go with the new template coding joomla 1. 5 has. I m fooling around with some different templates but i really am not wow d by any of them. Keep coming here. You ll know when the new site is ready. . I ve just come to realize i ll never be happy unless i m underweight. I ve seen a light flickering in the deepest darkest depths of the tunnel and my bad days are when the light turns off and i sit around and wait for the light to flick back on, because leaving that light for the end of the tunnel seems like heading into oblivion. So i sit in the darkness waiting for the light to flick back on. I have no concept of other people. I ve had 26 years of practice so i know when to pretend to care, what to say and how to act, but i just have no concept of all these people in my world. My therapist asked me if i thought it was because it hurt too much to think about. I m open to her opinion so i ve thought about it quite a bit, but that just not it. My sister has this running commentary about people and i ve found myself wanting to scream at her to keep quiet! I don t care! Even when she hears of tragedies that happen to acquaintances, or even complete strangers, she and everyone else seem to have a certain feeling about it, an empathy that seems to me to be grossly over exaggerated. I don t feel anything. I never have. Since i was old enough to understand the world beyond my own, i ve noticed i have no feelings one way or another when things happen to other people, even happiness doesn t come over me when i believe it should. Only when it directly effects me, only when things are good or bad in my own life do i feel anything, and then i feel everything. Even when my friends and family have good or bad things to say, i don t feel sympathy or joy unless it effects me in some way. It not that i don t have a heart. I think people who are that way are really just angry or resentful or something. When i was young i wondered why people felt so much for and about others and i didn t. I can fake it if you like, but i don t feel it. I wish i knew why because i realize it abnormal. I have to add a preface to this part in case my therapist reads this, but don t take me seriously if you don t like what follows, take it as i needed something to write. My therapist brought up a few years ago asperger disorder. We went through the dsm4 somewhat clumsily and that was that, we ve done it with other things just for the hell of it i guess so it wasn t anything new. She brought it up later, i m sure after reading a short blurb i added to my website as food for thought, a one or two sentence entry, saying that she didn t really think i had it sort of thing. I get frustrated with diagnoses for this very reason. My old psychiatrist once told a guy who was talking over some of his patients, including me, that i had severe ocd which was news to me. I ve heard agoraphobia and social phobia but recently my therapist said i m not even close to having agoraphobia. I ve heard bdd and ptsd and various other things, but in the end it all seems to come back to the feeling that there nothing wrong with me, it all in my head, so take six months and figure out how to get over it. I won t comment further on that statement, at least not today. I usually take these diagnoses and throw them out unless i hear them over and over like depression and eating disorder. For some reason aspergers has come up only once or twice but it keeps popping up in my mind. Recently i watched a show on discovery health or tlc about the family who has six or eight children and they re all autistic. About three have typical autism and the others have aspergers. People with aspergers can be perfectly functional in all areas except socially, that where the diagnoses is made. I was reading online from a page on syracuse university personal home pages as adults, individuals with the condition may have problems with empathy and modulation of social interaction. I had to look up modulation an inflection of the tone or pitch of the voice , specifically the use of stress or pitch to convey meaning. My paragraph above pops into my mind and this description of adults with aspergers sounds eerily familiar, if not a gross understatement of how i see myself. I partially feel as though i ve been acting in a great dramatic work displaying all the expressions and feelings i ve learned about over the past 26 years, and my audience is. My family and my therapist and every person i ve ever met. On the other hand, i start to throw aspergers out with the rest because i haven t heard it more than once or twice in relation to myself. Unfortunately, i m desperate for a reason behind my complete lack of caring about anyone ever and i start to wonder again, if there a name for it and if this is it. This is why i hate diagnoses. . I keep forgetting to create an awesome tools section so i can share all the totally cool software and gadgets i come across in my work. One i had to go searching for again today is easy graphic converter. I know lots of people out there who have websites also have great graphic tools head tags link rel= shortcut icon href= http www. Yourwebsite location to favicon. Ico that it. Your viewers just need msie 7. 0 to see it. It also shows up below the address bar if you add a site to your links folder in your browser favorites. You can also create your own desktop icons with the software, and the price is totally reasonable. We don t have one here yet because i m indecisive, but my work website has our colors and the number of years we ve been in business 70. I downloaded the software today so i could update that to 71 but i ve also added my signature w to my e-commerce mock-up site at westvillagedesign. Many sites around the internet are utilizing this graphic. Make your mark and try it for yourself! . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . I can t sleep and that not normal for me. I m the type who wakes up four hours later and can t get back to sleep, unisom even stopped working for me. I can t stop thinking and worrying and driving myself nuts over the thought of buying a condo and moving out. I m terrified and so far no one been able to give me the slightest bit of helpful, calming advise. I ve heard the you can deduct your mortgage payments from your taxes bit, but that doesn t tell me exactly how much more money i ll have each month. I ve heard the utilities are much less in a small condo than in a house speech, but i have yet to see proof of that. I ve heard that teachers make very little, like k a year and yet they can do it, but i don t make k. And everyone i ve heard these things from either make a ton more than me or are married and have two incomes and have never lived alone in their lives. Splitting everything in half doesn t make it sound so hard, but i m not dating, i haven t the slightest idea of when i ll start or if i ll ever get married at all. Life scares me too much. I wish i could buy a condo and rent it out for just enough to cover my costs each month, then move in when i m ready (and convinced that i ll be able to pay my electric bill). I wish so badly that i could do that, if there a god in heaven (i d be willing to revisit the possibility) if only someone thought that was as great an idea as i did. I m terrified, and the more i say it the more it sounds insignificant compared to what i m really feeling. The more time goes by the more scared i get, because eventually the tension in this house will squeeze me out and i ll have no choice but to move out or live on the street, or go crazy. I ve been there, i ve searched for apartments, and everything was so far out of my reach, and i had no one giving me any sound advise. Supporting me and helping me are two very different things when it comes down to it. Wondering if i can pay my bills and thinking about being alone, all the time, those two things scare me more than death. I m scared of death, don t get me wrong, but i m scared of who will take care of my animals, and whether they ll be treated well, not really of death. In the words of stephanie meyer death is easy, life is hard. I wish someone had told me when i was 21 and starting my 1st job to start saving 0 month for a down payment, it didn t occur to me then. I d have ,000 saved up, plus interest! Then consider that we would all like to retire one day, one more thing to save up for, to add to the budget, and my work doesn t contribute to a 401k like larger companies do. I ll have to set up my own retirement account and i ll be the only one adding anything to it. Life just seems too hard sometimes, especially if you re living it alone, and the people around you complain and worry out loud about their lives all day long, but you re shut down every time you try to find an ally, a f****** open ear! How is one supposed to live when every moment of every day is painful?. So i& ,ve submitted my first module to the joomla! Dev. Team (scary). You can also download and test it yourself from the project gallery in the media menu. In the (very possible) event that it is not approved, i will leave it up here in case you want to test it on your own site. I have many plans for future updates in my head so although it. It been a rough week. A death in the family 9 9 09, a very unexpected death, a funeral friday 9 18 09, and yet i managed to write a whole module for joomla! I ve never written one before and i was sure this one would fail miserably, but after some trial and error today i got it completed and it works great! I took the dynamic. My cousin -in-law just committed suicide, like at some point this afternoon. He had a 23-month old daughter. My cousin, whose father died of cancer when she was about 19 after being a raging alcoholic all his life, whose mother is a 24 7 alcoholic living in texas, whose older sister and brother live in texas and georgia, just lost. So i was watching videos on imdb for the new moon movie and i saw an interview with peter facinelli and jenny garth on chelsea lately and i had to watch it. I m a fan of the show nurse jackie, also with peter facinelli, and i was curious what he like in real life since the characters of dr. Carlisle cullen and dr. Fitch cooper are. My sister second (and last) baby shower was saturday. Last friday she starts talking to me about her husband cousin, saying we have a lot in common and she supposedly about my age and had an eating disorder also and that like last thanksgiving she said she was thankful for overcoming it and realizing she didn t. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . I feel like i m bi-polar and for the last two years i ve been in a depressive episode without even a glimpse of a manic episode. I m really not bi-polar but if this is anything like how i ve heard it explained a million times, i can understand why they d want to go off their meds and experience manic episodes. My manic episodes are really just wiredness from lack of sleep or lack of food. Lately though, i ve had too much food and too much sleep. And no motivation to do anything i used to enjoy. The world is against me. At least that how it feels to me. To those of you who have upgraded from joomla! 1. 0 to 1. 5 native , this is for you. I am so perplexed as to why the joomla! Team would decide to make so many changes that the old system is worthless. In migrating my data from 1. 0 to 1. 5, so many things have gone wrong and this is why i m still typing here after around a year and a half from the time 1. 5 was released. The simplest things like front page navigation, sef, menu links (of all things! ) no longer work. They lead to 404 errors on the new site. Half of my database has weird characters, like the migration couldn t handle certain characters like apostrophes (! ) and none of my extensions have migration scripts available so i m having to do the work manually. I m so sick of manual migration of data, not just here. So, that why i m still working off of 1. 0 and this template i can t stand anymore. In case you were wondering. The template i ve chosen for the new site is from joomlart called ja quartz and had i known the modules plugins would be so hard to configure, i would have chosen something different. They always look so nice until you get them installed on your own site. Obviously, the graphics won t be of models and professional photography, but i ll have interesting photos as well, ones that i took. Though i m not sure how reassuring that is lol my web host, aplus, convinced me to upgrade my account to their newer package which was 10 times better for less money (it will save me about 0 over the first two years) but in doing so i had to transfer servers. The sales guy told me it d be no big deal and they would transfer my domains and ssl certificate and i just had to transfer the files, databases, and re-create email accounts. Sounds simple enough except one of my domains was missing, my ssl wasn t working, and the guy helping me deleted my support ticket when when i re-opened it to tell someone one of my domains was missing and my ssl was down. Thanks guys! Four days later my ssl was working and my missing domain was back, but transferring a 24mb database from one server to another proved to be very time consuming. Uploading a file via sql gave me errors and i had to cut and paste everything into the little sql box little by little until it was all done. That why this site been down. I just wasn t looking forward to that. Well, if you have a login here, you can log into the new site (www. Amas-veritas) and view it while it in the works. Otherwise you ll have to wait until it done, but you can still view the demo template at the above link. You ll at least get an idea. . So, in 2005 i bought the fujifilm s3 pro, back when 12. 2mp was something to shout about. It was amazing, the pictures it took. However, after a while i guess some settings got changed (? ) and none of my pictures turned out, unless i used a tripod (bleh). I sent it off with my father to santa barbara (where he lived during the week) and although he knows quite a bit more than me about cameras, he didn t know enough to get the settings to a place where i could use the camera again. It doesn t come with an auto button, just a program button which is dangerous when you don t know what you re doing. Even more dangerous than flat out manual. Let me pause for a moment and note that i love taking pictures. I ve taken some really great pictures with really awful cameras, and better than average pictures with really awesome cameras. Although it frustrates me to no end that i can t use a pro camera properly, i m quite unwilling to do anything about it (i. E. Take a class). My father and i did take two one-day classed at samy camera (last summer? ), but there were no pictures taken (??? ) so i couldn t ask why my pictures came out the way they did. We sat and the guy told us what different features were for and how and when to use them, and a few people were buying like their first camera so it was a little strange. And i ve forgotten 90% of what we learned because i still can t use my camera. Fast forward to 2009, and you ll see me carrying around a point-and-shoot sony cyber-shot with 7. X mp and no versatility. It takes a decent picture and almost never lets me down, but the pictures are just pictures. There nothing exciting about them. Sure, it will take as much video as the memory card and battery can take, but that the greatest perk. Last night i went to check my mail stack and there was a sony brochure with all their newest gadgets in it. It had the 8 vaio (sweeet! ) and a 24 desktop (not so sweet but i d like to get a look at it), it also had cameras. From that point i was hooked. I had to have a camera, and tax return time is my favorite time to buy. So i was on a mission to find the greatest digital slr camera, with auto as well as all the other features you would expect with a pro slr. My grandfather swears by consumer reports magazine and website so after lots of google searches (and some pretty awesome finds like the medium format panoramic seitz 6x17 digital (160mp!! ) for something like ,000+usd and the 360 degree roundshot d3 (470mp!!! ) for around ,400+usd, i discovered that although i keep hearing about canon canon canon all over the place, nikon is really the way to go. I want a no-limits camera that will do what i want even when i don t know how to get the shot as well as one that learnable, popular, and can give me what i want when i can get the shot and my expectations become greater. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the nikon d300. Sure, the d700 is fx format and the d300 is only dx format, but what do i care?? I don t even know what the heck that means! Lol the new d3x at 24. 5mp. Let pause for a moment and think about that 24. 5mp! Forget composition, you can create your own composition with an image that size. The world is your studio must be true for pro-photographers who can afford this one, or amateur with an enormous amount of disposable income. Back to the d300, i found this awesome site on nikon called nikondigitutor where it goes through the features and shows you how to use them in video format. Of course the narrator calls it nee-cone but i ll be watching those videos over and over again until i have them memorized. The features are awesome and the camera costs less than the i m totally convinced over priced fujifilm s3 pro i bought four years ago, with. 1 more mega pixels and omg -- wait for it -- an auto setting. I ve already ordered two replacement batteries (the one downside to the camera. It doesn t take aa nimh batteries that you can practically buy at the grocery store and that i have tons of. Just the lithium ion batteries that can cost a fortune), a wireless shutter release, and a microdrive card reader because i m so sick of having to search for cords to connect the camera to the computer just so i can view share my photos. If you ask me, all devices should be wifi compatible with each other so we can forget the sync cables required for every electronic device now on the market. Sony did a great thing by including all necessary cords in one convenient multi-purpose cord so you don t lose anything. If only everyone else thought that way. The kit with battery and cords that comes with the d300 camera body has like four different cords. Who wants to bet i lose at least one of them within the first month of ownership? So i bought this awesome camera and it should arrive monday, but i told my sister and said she can t tell anyone. I just know my parents will have something to say about it other than how exciting! Like it any of their damn business. My father always asks how much things cost, like i m spending his money or charging up credit cards that i can t pay back. Trust me, i ve learned from others mistakes in that area. That why i love tax return time. If i can just wait until april, anything i need (or absolutely can t live without lol) will probably be affordable, so i m good. I tried getting a quote from samy camera for my fujifilm s3 pro because they sell tons of used items that are really great, but they said they weren t interested. I think i have like the only s3 pro in the entire united states because no one has one, knows anyone who has one, or has even seen one and they re always so interested if they know anything about high-end cameras. I really don t want to sell it because i m rather proud to have it since it was my first big purchase after i got my first job and i d really love to be able to use it one day, i would just feel better about getting the d300 if i didn t have a perfectly functioning (though not so user-friendly) digital slr in the closet. . Wow this is cool alice. A free! 3d programming environment from carnegie mellon university that allows people (and kids) of all ages to create animations, games, or videos that can be displayed on the web! I totally have to check it out. If kids can do it, so can i! I hope. *wink*. My sister i may not have a job in two years, or so i m told. I feel like the world is falling down around me. I m not sure what to do with that. I wish i could move out. Even with a roommate, but i don t make enough to do that and make car payments, which i still have two years of. I hate coming home. Everything has to be so difficult. There no joy, nothing to make all the bad seem worth it. What do you do with that? Do you just keep plugging away despite all the bad?? I don t see how it possible. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . I ve worked a lot on the new site over the past two days and it brought me to an even greater level of hatred for joomla 1. 5. First of all, none of the menu items worked after i migrated the data. If that isn t enough, basic navigation (at the bottom where you hit next) didn t work either. I ve had to find all new ways to present the. I m really a bookworm at heart. Unfortunately, i can never find a book as good as, or better than, the last. After harry potter, i didn t have any interest in reading because that was all i d read (and enjoyed) for about two years. Sure, i ve bought books and re-read books, but nothing ever held my attention. . I ve discovered a pattern. Every night i come home (and this isn t the pattern i m talking about), feed my lizard, flip on the tv to something i don t have to focus on (i. E. Cartoons), and i sit down for a long night of games on my computer. Occasionally i. In case i hadn t mentioned it, i ve been a huge harry potter fan. I own all the books and have read them each multiple times. I m at the theater the second i think it safe that each new movie won t be sold out. . Food sleep. Two things we need to survive, but two things i abhor and at the same time have little control over. Eight hours of sleep, night after night, just seems superfluous to me. As does more food than required to keep standing upright. Even at 12pm, 5pm, i won& ,t eat if i can keep my mind from controlling my actions, keep. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . I m not a gamer, unless lots of solitaire and mahjong qualify me as a gamer, but this fully customizable keyboard dx1 input system at thinkgeek sure has me imagining the possibilities! Considering all it could do, gamer or not, the price isn t so bad either. When a gadget says it compatible with windows xp 2000 does that mean it not compatible with windows 7? Hmmm i m quite fond of this das keyboard ultimate as well very cool looking. I can totally imagine it sitting in my ballard designs inspired condominium i plan to own some day soon. A little european style mixed with sleek gadgets from my favorite geek store. Too bad they re out of stock, can t even tell if the price is reasonable. Thinkgeek is definitely more than just a place to buy cool gadgets though. Geekdom is a way of life. I even enjoy just sitting down and reading the product descriptions, great for a laugh. Sure, i laugh alone (i wasn t exactly raised by geeks), but i always love a little geek humor. ,-) the promini wireless keyboard is pretty darn cute, but trackpad plus cute means insanely inconvenient. Give me a wireless mouse to replace that trackpad and this could be very useful. Considering the size, the price seems a little high, but considering the size such a low price could also mean a not-so-good product. . Okay, wow wow (one wow for the gadget and another for the price). This optimus maximus keyboard is so cool, if i had a million dollars i just might buy one but then after about two hours of playing around and watching the 113 individual oled screens light up in every way i could imagine, i d probably regret spending ,600 on a keyboard. Can you believe thinkgeek is sold out?? I wonder out of all the people who bought one, how many of those people now regret spending the money, and how many of them were purchased by bill gates. Okay, so i think he probably has better things to do than watch a keyboard light up, but i d buy one if i was him. It looks cool, but actually typing on those keys, or should i say mini-monitors, probably isn t as easy as these hollow plastic caps bouncing around on little rubber funnels (very technical terms, i know, i apologize) that we re used to typing on. For that price, i probably wouldn t use it for typing just for watching. Yeah, i think if i was rich, i d blow all my richness on gadgets that i d regret buying later, but which i felt like i couldn t live without at the time, multiples upon multiples of all kinds of gadgets and gizmos i d be a hoarder of the latest technology i d have an android phone, and an iphone, and an ipad, and, well, the ipad is so last week, so i d have an ipad 2 as well. Luckily, i m broke, and my brokeness keeps me from buying things i really know, deep down, that i can easily live without. They re sure fun to look at though, and those thinkgeek product descriptions forever entertaining. Oh! And free!. My mother told me last week that i have to start paying for part of my therapy. For the past week it been all i can think about. I d been trying to figure out how to ask my dad, via email, how this decision came about, if it was permanent, and if they weren t wanting to pay for my therapy at all anymore needless to day, the implications were great. I don t have two incomes like my sister. Just the prospect of having a mortgage on a single income is terrifying. I don t live in nebraska, i live in los angeles, where housing prices are almost ten times greater. A simple one bedroom condominium in a relatively safe neighborhood is around 0,000. I could buy two single family homes for that in nebraska. I just don t make enough to take on additional expenses, especially the 5 a month i ve just been left with. When i received a response from my dad i almost cried. This was permanent, and then he felt the need to tell me how old i am, like i don t already know, like that changes anything. I feel like the world is ending. I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room, like i m living in a vacuum. Maybe coming up with a budget and knowing i make enough money to do this would help, but just the thought of trying to make a budget makes me feel like the walls are closing in. I feel like there no way out. I also know that although some fear and apprehension is warranted, the extent of my fear is a bit irrational. I know this, but knowing it doesn t help. I m trying to drown myself in mindless activities games, tv, etc. But i m not sure it working. I can only do that so many hours per day. I do have to work and sleep and go to the dentist (ugh the world is against me). To add to the chaos, i found out last month that i m allergic to soy and citric acid, which means i pretty much can t eat anything i usually eat or use any of the hair or skin care products i ve stocked up on. I live off diet caffeine free coke and i can t drink it. It makes the palms of my hands itch. It makes the soles of my feet itch. It ridiculous. I can t eat anything packaged, lean cuisine, morning star chik n nuggets, zone bars, anything with tomato sauce, orange juice, yogurt i m a vegetarian, i m a picky eater (it mostly a texture issue), i have all these off-limits foods (left over from an eating disorder), and now i have allergies. All i have left is organic foods with no preservatives you can only find at stores like trader joe and whole foods, and i have to read every label before i buy, a few fruits, and artichokes the only edible vegetable there is. I m not allergic to something simple like strawberries, which are easy to avoid, but soy and citric acid. You wouldn t believe all the foods that contain soy and all the hair and skincare products that contain citric acid, unless you ve actually had to avoid them. My skin gets red and blotchy then starts itching like crazy if i eat soy. I get very itchy skin and eventually hives with citric acid. Last weekend i had a craving for diet coke and i stupidly thought for a minute that there isn t enough citric acid in some diet coke to effect me, so i bought some. And i was miserable. Hopefully i ve learned my lesson. Diet coke is like my cigarette. I m used to always having one in my hand, and it hard to stop lol. . From my ww blog i m pretty sure it an addiction. Instead of alcohol, which would probably be more acceptable in my circle, i had to choose food, at a very early age. I snuck handfuls of granulated sugar, kool aid packets of flavored sugar, tiny glass bowls of brown sugar and hid them in my nightstand drawer. All the food i ate never seemed odd or bad in any way, until i hit *** lbs my senior year of high school. The following summer, someone mentioned anorexia to me. In conversation. A month later i said good bye to my unhealthy foods, became a vegetarian, and nine months later had dropped 40 pounds and landed myself in the hospital. I wasn t yet in an eating disordered frame of mind, so the day i returned home, i started eating again. And eating and eating, until i had gained 30 pounds and lost my sense of self. That christmas i sold my horse, which for my whole life, since i was 3, was my life, and the only healthy activity i enjoyed. And possibly the last. In the months that followed i tried various diets, but all i lost was the ability to eat without anxiety. I found myself back in the hospital, desperate to be thin, no matter what the consequence. I lost weight, but in the most unhealthy ways. Over a year i gained all the weight back, got my first job, and in no time got back in the cycle of unhealthy weight loss. Life was too much. Two a half years later, i switched jobs, which seemed like the only option left, but i kept losing weight, kept avoiding food, kept missing out on life. Finally at my lowest weight ever, the holidays and all the food snapped me back into eating. Now, four years later, never having found the strength to stop eating, my simplified definition of bingeing, i m at my highest weight ever. I m 28 now and i still live with my parents. Some days i m grateful that i can save up to buy my first home, that i ll never have to rent, and some days i would do anything to avoid going home. But then i remember, i m pretty sure it an addiction, and i start to wonder if i ll eat myself out of house home without someone always there, watching. And judging. Though all in my head, the only thing that keeps me from eating everything i have is the almost paralyzing fear that my parents are watching, in disgust, as i go back for more. When they re sleeping or on vacation, i find myself eating more, even twice as much, as when they re home and fully aware. If i don t keep snack foods in my room i start to panic and even get angry when i can t go out to the kitchen and get food in private. I am here with the hope that someday, not too far in the future, food will no longer be my enemy, and this so-called eating disorder will feel less like a cancer, and more like a cold that i caught in the winter time of my life. . I can t sleep and that not normal for me. I m the type who wakes up four hours later and can t get back to sleep, unisom even stopped working for me. I can t stop thinking and worrying and driving myself nuts over the thought of buying a condo and moving out. I m terrified and so far no one been able to give me the slightest bit of helpful, calming advise. I ve heard the you can deduct your mortgage payments from your taxes bit, but that doesn t tell me exactly how much more money i ll have each month. I ve heard the utilities are much less in a small condo than in a house speech, but i have yet to see proof of that. I ve heard that teachers make very little, like k a year and yet they can do it, but i don t make k. And everyone i ve heard these things from either make a ton more than me or are married and have two incomes and have never lived alone in their lives. Splitting everything in half doesn t make it sound so hard, but i m not dating, i haven t the slightest idea of when i ll start or if i ll ever get married at all. Life scares me too much. I wish i could buy a condo and rent it out for just enough to cover my costs each month, then move in when i m ready (and convinced that i ll be able to pay my electric bill). I wish so badly that i could do that, if there a god in heaven (i d be willing to revisit the possibility) if only someone thought that was as great an idea as i did. I m terrified, and the more i say it the more it sounds insignificant compared to what i m really feeling. The more time goes by the more scared i get, because eventually the tension in this house will squeeze me out and i ll have no choice but to move out or live on the street, or go crazy. I ve been there, i ve searched for apartments, and everything was so far out of my reach, and i had no one giving me any sound advise. Supporting me and helping me are two very different things when it comes down to it. Wondering if i can pay my bills and thinking about being alone, all the time, those two things scare me more than death. I m scared of death, don t get me wrong, but i m scared of who will take care of my animals, and whether they ll be treated well, not really of death. In the words of stephanie meyer death is easy, life is hard. I wish someone had told me when i was 21 and starting my 1st job to start saving 0 month for a down payment, it didn t occur to me then. I d have ,000 saved up, plus interest! Then consider that we would all like to retire one day, one more thing to save up for, to add to the budget, and my work doesn t contribute to a 401k like larger companies do. I ll have to set up my own retirement account and i ll be the only one adding anything to it. Life just seems too hard sometimes, especially if you re living it alone, and the people around you complain and worry out loud about their lives all day long, but you re shut down every time you try to find an ally, a f****** open ear! How is one supposed to live when every moment of every day is painful?. Doom. Some days i hate the world. And some days i feel like the world hates me back, like i m going to be punished for some perceived wrong-doing, at some unknown future date and time. When i m alone i feel the world pressing down on me, like the suspense is building and you can t tell if something going to happen or if the composer just tricking you. I can t breathe. Maybe because i know something bad is going to happen, or maybe it already has, maybe the moment i thought would trigger it was actually the moment itself. Maybe it still has some building to do, some worsening. I can t help but worry, and in worrying, get angry that i m made to worry at all. The anger and worry make me suspicious. Of everyone. Eventually the perceived wrong-doing becomes actual wrong-doing and everything snowballs. I try to interrupt the cycle by looking for the good in. Everything, but the virus spreads and everything joins the first thing and the world is bad again. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . I m not a gamer, unless lots of solitaire and mahjong qualify me as a gamer, but this fully customizable keyboard dx1 input system at thinkgeek sure has me imagining the possibilities! Considering all it could do, gamer or not, the price isn t so bad either. When a gadget says it compatible with windows xp 2000 does that mean it not compatible with windows 7? Hmmm i m quite fond of this das keyboard ultimate as well very cool looking. I can totally imagine it sitting in my ballard designs inspired condominium i plan to own some day soon. A little european style mixed with sleek gadgets from my favorite geek store. Too bad they re out of stock, can t even tell if the price is reasonable. Thinkgeek is definitely more than just a place to buy cool gadgets though. Geekdom is a way of life. I even enjoy just sitting down and reading the product descriptions, great for a laugh. Sure, i laugh alone (i wasn t exactly raised by geeks), but i always love a little geek humor. ,-) the promini wireless keyboard is pretty darn cute, but trackpad plus cute means insanely inconvenient. Give me a wireless mouse to replace that trackpad and this could be very useful. Considering the size, the price seems a little high, but considering the size such a low price could also mean a not-so-good product. . Okay, wow wow (one wow for the gadget and another for the price). This optimus maximus keyboard is so cool, if i had a million dollars i just might buy one but then after about two hours of playing around and watching the 113 individual oled screens light up in every way i could imagine, i d probably regret spending ,600 on a keyboard. Can you believe thinkgeek is sold out?? I wonder out of all the people who bought one, how many of those people now regret spending the money, and how many of them were purchased by bill gates. Okay, so i think he probably has better things to do than watch a keyboard light up, but i d buy one if i was him. It looks cool, but actually typing on those keys, or should i say mini-monitors, probably isn t as easy as these hollow plastic caps bouncing around on little rubber funnels (very technical terms, i know, i apologize) that we re used to typing on. For that price, i probably wouldn t use it for typing just for watching. Yeah, i think if i was rich, i d blow all my richness on gadgets that i d regret buying later, but which i felt like i couldn t live without at the time, multiples upon multiples of all kinds of gadgets and gizmos i d be a hoarder of the latest technology i d have an android phone, and an iphone, and an ipad, and, well, the ipad is so last week, so i d have an ipad 2 as well. Luckily, i m broke, and my brokeness keeps me from buying things i really know, deep down, that i can easily live without. They re sure fun to look at though, and those thinkgeek product descriptions forever entertaining. Oh! And free!. My mother told me last week that i have to start paying for part of my therapy. For the past week it been all i can think about. I d been trying to figure out how to ask my dad, via email, how this decision came about, if it was permanent, and if they weren t wanting to pay for my therapy at all anymore needless to day, the implications were great. I don t have two incomes like my sister. Just the prospect of having a mortgage on a single income is terrifying. I don t live in nebraska, i live in los angeles, where housing prices are almost ten times greater. A simple one bedroom condominium in a relatively safe neighborhood is around 0,000. I could buy two single family homes for that in nebraska. I just don t make enough to take on additional expenses, especially the 5 a month i ve just been left with. When i received a response from my dad i almost cried. This was permanent, and then he felt the need to tell me how old i am, like i don t already know, like that changes anything. I feel like the world is ending. I feel like all the air has been sucked out of the room, like i m living in a vacuum. Maybe coming up with a budget and knowing i make enough money to do this would help, but just the thought of trying to make a budget makes me feel like the walls are closing in. I feel like there no way out. I also know that although some fear and apprehension is warranted, the extent of my fear is a bit irrational. I know this, but knowing it doesn t help. I m trying to drown myself in mindless activities games, tv, etc. But i m not sure it working. I can only do that so many hours per day. I do have to work and sleep and go to the dentist (ugh the world is against me). To add to the chaos, i found out last month that i m allergic to soy and citric acid, which means i pretty much can t eat anything i usually eat or use any of the hair or skin care products i ve stocked up on. I live off diet caffeine free coke and i can t drink it. It makes the palms of my hands itch. It makes the soles of my feet itch. It ridiculous. I can t eat anything packaged, lean cuisine, morning star chik n nuggets, zone bars, anything with tomato sauce, orange juice, yogurt i m a vegetarian, i m a picky eater (it mostly a texture issue), i have all these off-limits foods (left over from an eating disorder), and now i have allergies. All i have left is organic foods with no preservatives you can only find at stores like trader joe and whole foods, and i have to read every label before i buy, a few fruits, and artichokes the only edible vegetable there is. I m not allergic to something simple like strawberries, which are easy to avoid, but soy and citric acid. You wouldn t believe all the foods that contain soy and all the hair and skincare products that contain citric acid, unless you ve actually had to avoid them. My skin gets red and blotchy then starts itching like crazy if i eat soy. I get very itchy skin and eventually hives with citric acid. Last weekend i had a craving for diet coke and i stupidly thought for a minute that there isn t enough citric acid in some diet coke to effect me, so i bought some. And i was miserable. Hopefully i ve learned my lesson. Diet coke is like my cigarette. I m used to always having one in my hand, and it hard to stop lol. . From my ww blog i m pretty sure it an addiction. Instead of alcohol, which would probably be more acceptable in my circle, i had to choose food, at a very early age. I snuck handfuls of granulated sugar, kool aid packets of flavored sugar, tiny glass bowls of brown sugar and hid them in my nightstand drawer. All the food i ate never seemed odd or bad in any way, until i hit *** lbs my senior year of high school. The following summer, someone mentioned anorexia to me. In conversation. A month later i said good bye to my unhealthy foods, became a vegetarian, and nine months later had dropped 40 pounds and landed myself in the hospital. I wasn t yet in an eating disordered frame of mind, so the day i returned home, i started eating again. And eating and eating, until i had gained 30 pounds and lost my sense of self. That christmas i sold my horse, which for my whole life, since i was 3, was my life, and the only healthy activity i enjoyed. And possibly the last. In the months that followed i tried various diets, but all i lost was the ability to eat without anxiety. I found myself back in the hospital, desperate to be thin, no matter what the consequence. I lost weight, but in the most unhealthy ways. Over a year i gained all the weight back, got my first job, and in no time got back in the cycle of unhealthy weight loss. Life was too much. Two a half years later, i switched jobs, which seemed like the only option left, but i kept losing weight, kept avoiding food, kept missing out on life. Finally at my lowest weight ever, the holidays and all the food snapped me back into eating. Now, four years later, never having found the strength to stop eating, my simplified definition of bingeing, i m at my highest weight ever. I m 28 now and i still live with my parents. Some days i m grateful that i can save up to buy my first home, that i ll never have to rent, and some days i would do anything to avoid going home. But then i remember, i m pretty sure it an addiction, and i start to wonder if i ll eat myself out of house home without someone always there, watching. And judging. Though all in my head, the only thing that keeps me from eating everything i have is the almost paralyzing fear that my parents are watching, in disgust, as i go back for more. When they re sleeping or on vacation, i find myself eating more, even twice as much, as when they re home and fully aware. If i don t keep snack foods in my room i start to panic and even get angry when i can t go out to the kitchen and get food in private. I am here with the hope that someday, not too far in the future, food will no longer be my enemy, and this so-called eating disorder will feel less like a cancer, and more like a cold that i caught in the winter time of my life. . I can t sleep and that not normal for me. I m the type who wakes up four hours later and can t get back to sleep, unisom even stopped working for me. I can t stop thinking and worrying and driving myself nuts over the thought of buying a condo and moving out. I m terrified and so far no one been able to give me the slightest bit of helpful, calming advise. I ve heard the you can deduct your mortgage payments from your taxes bit, but that doesn t tell me exactly how much more money i ll have each month. I ve heard the utilities are much less in a small condo than in a house speech, but i have yet to see proof of that. I ve heard that teachers make very little, like k a year and yet they can do it, but i don t make k. And everyone i ve heard these things from either make a ton more than me or are married and have two incomes and have never lived alone in their lives. Splitting everything in half doesn t make it sound so hard, but i m not dating, i haven t the slightest idea of when i ll start or if i ll ever get married at all. Life scares me too much. I wish i could buy a condo and rent it out for just enough to cover my costs each month, then move in when i m ready (and convinced that i ll be able to pay my electric bill). I wish so badly that i could do that, if there a god in heaven (i d be willing to revisit the possibility) if only someone thought that was as great an idea as i did. I m terrified, and the more i say it the more it sounds insignificant compared to what i m really feeling. The more time goes by the more scared i get, because eventually the tension in this house will squeeze me out and i ll have no choice but to move out or live on the street, or go crazy. I ve been there, i ve searched for apartments, and everything was so far out of my reach, and i had no one giving me any sound advise. Supporting me and helping me are two very different things when it comes down to it. Wondering if i can pay my bills and thinking about being alone, all the time, those two things scare me more than death. I m scared of death, don t get me wrong, but i m scared of who will take care of my animals, and whether they ll be treated well, not really of death. In the words of stephanie meyer death is easy, life is hard. I wish someone had told me when i was 21 and starting my 1st job to start saving 0 month for a down payment, it didn t occur to me then. I d have ,000 saved up, plus interest! Then consider that we would all like to retire one day, one more thing to save up for, to add to the budget, and my work doesn t contribute to a 401k like larger companies do. I ll have to set up my own retirement account and i ll be the only one adding anything to it. Life just seems too hard sometimes, especially if you re living it alone, and the people around you complain and worry out loud about their lives all day long, but you re shut down every time you try to find an ally, a f****** open ear! How is one supposed to live when every moment of every day is painful?. Doom. Some days i hate the world. And some days i feel like the world hates me back, like i m going to be punished for some perceived wrong-doing, at some unknown future date and time. When i m alone i feel the world pressing down on me, like the suspense is building and you can t tell if something going to happen or if the composer just tricking you. I can t breathe. Maybe because i know something bad is going to happen, or maybe it already has, maybe the moment i thought would trigger it was actually the moment itself. Maybe it still has some building to do, some worsening. I can t help but worry, and in worrying, get angry that i m made to worry at all. The anger and worry make me suspicious. Of everyone. Eventually the perceived wrong-doing becomes actual wrong-doing and everything snowballs. I try to interrupt the cycle by looking for the good in. Everything, but the virus spreads and everything joins the first thing and the world is bad again. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . Youve seen how expression in any shape or form on any topic you could possibly think of only makes things worse. The reason i am so un-wanting of conversion at horse shows is because the second i walk into the ring i go blank and i forget everything i have ever learned back home. Then i hate how people tell me what im doing wrong. Once i get out it all comes back to me so telling me does not help. I dont want someone reminding me of my faults. I hate acting. Thats why i never took drama. I act every day, i dont want to take a class on it. It seems to me ive done a pretty good job at it because everyone still thinks im just shy. But what do they know? . We can never go back again, that much is curtain. The past is still too close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us stir again, and that sense of fear, of furtive unrest, struggling at length to blind unreasoning panic - now mercifully stilled, thank god - might in some manner unforeseen become a living companion, as it had been before. An excerpt from rebecca by daphne du maurier. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . Okay i m having issues. I want to cut, but that would be really dumb. I took a unisom so i d stop obsessing, but it will probably be an hour before it kicks in. I wouldn t sleep without it anyways. Last night it was hours before i finally fell asleep. I m totally controlled by whether i get a text or phone call or not. It sick, and i wish i could turn the tables, but my eagerness always gets the better of me. I didn t eat again today. I m gonna lose my adderall i just know it. That would be devistating, but how can i not take advantage of an opportunity to lose weight. Especially now. All i can think of is whether i said the wrong thing, even though it been months of me having to be patient and understanding and not take anything personal. And i m not patient or understanding and i take everything personal. Can t really speak your mind before you get your foot in the door. All of my energy is going into this, trying to be everything he wants me to be. And it starting to wear on me. . I m having an internal dilemma. I want to go make rice but i m on a roll and i ve had this amazing amount of willpower. I think i ve even lost a visible amount of weight, meaning when i look in the mirror i can see it. That hasn t happened in years. I ve only been drinking water this week because i suddenly have this fear that the diet caffeine-free coke i ve been drinking is preventing me from losing weight. Monday tuesday i didn t eat anything, wednesday i had a caesar salad that was only 200 calories less the cro tons plus 1. 5 apples (the first apple tasted like it was bruised all over. From the inside-out) and yesterday i had donettes (360 calories) and about 2 3 (or less) of a bag of goldfish (approx. 533 calories). Today i ve had two apples, and the rice, if i finish all of it, would be about 800 calories (!!! ) so it not like i m eating much. I guess. -(the rational part of me knows that the diet caffeine-free coke couldn t possibly be causing me to gain or prevent me from losing. Being zero calories and all. But the eating-disordered part of me isn t sure. I really want some diet coke because i m really not a water person. I know it the weekend and i ll probably eat like crap saturday and sunday as usual, but when i get on a roll like this, it hard to turn back without fighting myself first. The rational part is fighting for food while the eating-disordered part is trying to hang on a little longer. . Due to technical difficulties (shorthand for we goofed up), the new hubble documentary will now air at 4 p. M. Edt. Our apologies!. For about 15 seconds tonight! Smashing punkins are on, too. If i& ,d known, i would have worn orange. . Just used the term btdubs over aim. Freakin& , kids their crazy moon language. Just say by the way!. Photo regardless of what you re thinking, this kitty has no regrets. Eveningcuteness. I ve taken java. If you don t include all the including you have to do, i was able to follow along. At the beginning. I know oop = object oriented programming. And that about the extent of my understanding. Needless to say, i didn t continue to do well in java. . California& ,s fun. Sun, surf, and earthquakes lol. We just had a 4. 4 earthquake and it sure was felt a long way away. It felt like it was about two seconds but my birds started freaking out so there was no way i could have slept through that one. It was one of those shaking ones (as opposed to rolling). The news keeps bringing on. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . Guys suck. I hate the entire male population right now. It like every time i meet a nice guy, it turns out all they want is sex, and when i try to set any kind of totally reasonable boundaries they leave. It like i m not worth getting to know. If i m not going to have sex with them on like our first date, i m not worth anything. Is it too much to ask that he leave his current girlfriend before he tries to hook up with me??? I m beginning to feel like if i ever want to have a relationship, i just have to do whatever they want, whenever they want or just be single the rest of my life, which of course scares me to death. It brings tears to my eyes every time i think that might happen. What life worth if you have to spend it alone?. Since the person who asked me this question doesn t appear to be too happy with me right now, i ll post my answer here to refer back to at a later date *wink*. Why am i so hard on myself. I had a really hard time answering that one. I even asked the advice of my therapist and the overall consensus was because i m me. Does that answer the question? No, it didn t for me either. So, i looked the question up online and actually came up with some scripture (ick) but the whole thing explained the questions a bit better. I think it due to an abject fear of. Everything of failing, of being imperfect (of being judged as imperfect), of being seen. The list is endless. So, i ll end with that lol. I suppose that will have to do since i m sort of making up that answer as it is. . For those of you girls who have had a trauma, like the r word that will never leave my lips, or my fingertips, how do you tell your boyfriend? My therapist tells me over and over that i have to tell any guy i m serious with that this happened to me. But i can t say it. I don t even want to think it, and i m supposed to say it out loud? To a guy i like?? It just doesn t seem possible, or like a terribly great idea. I ve gotten as far as saying (as an answer to a question) that yes, i ve had uhem. You know. But not cause i wanted to. Which apparently translated as it was kind of unwanted. That like the understatement of the century. Of course my therapist said that not good enough, that i need to explain that it was more than kind of unwanted but i don t think i can. I don t have any words to express what i m supposed to tell him, at least not words that i m willing to say. They always ask about my multitude of scars (obviously), but i don t know what to say. Most people don t get cutting, or that anyone would ever do it so i feel dumb and a little like the guy gonna think freak when i tell him. I hate drama and i hate to let any guy know about the drama that really fills my head. Guys aren t into drama. In my life, i try to spread as little drama as possible, i try to avoid drama around me. When i like a guy, i may tell someone, but when it turns out he likes me back, it a secret only i know (and of course my therapist). When it time to try b c i m leaving that up to you to decipher i should be able to ask my sister or my mother right? Wrong. Try secretly calling planned parenthood and a secret appointment that i have to find an excuse for. I ve decided to tell them my therapist had to reschedule so they won t ask questions. It terrifies me to have certain people know things this private to me, especially when a guy is involved. If it goes bad, the last thing i want is questions. Even when i m sick i hate when people ask me how i m feeling, am i feeling better, etc. So if i m upset over a guy or anything. I m so afraid that because of my fear of guys men that i ll end up alone for the rest of my life, and that makes me unbelievably sad. No one in my life can know that. I hate sympathy, i hate questions, i hate people around me knowing those private things about me. They ask questions that i m not willing to answer, and my mother in particular likes to ask questions over and over and then get angry if i tell her it none of her business, because it not. It her business if i make it her business and i would prefer to keep her at as much of a distance as she will allow. If i went out on a date i wouldn t want to tell anyone. But how do you explain that they shouldn t wait up when you re just going to the book store? Granted, borders is open till midnight or something, but what if i choose not to come home?? I can t even work late without someone calling me at the office at 7 or 8 asking where i am! Uh. Hello, you called me at the office!? Maybe i m at the office??? Like i haven t worked until o dark thirty my entire working life. I used to stay at the office in east la until 10pm alone. Now i m 5 minutes from home and they re freaking out?!? It totally backward. I m 27 for christ sake!!! I think i ll never have freedom until i move out, and even then. Who knows. I ll still have to work for my mother where the questions could be endless. My room isn t private, no matter what i do. Anything locked up or hidden away means my mother needs to investigate. My car isn t safe because my father feels as though he has free rein there. I wish i could take my spare keys from him, but i think he would be offended and very angry. I m pretty sure this website isn t safe even though i ve made it quite clear that they have no right to read it. It like me picking up my mother journal that she lays out all over the house. She never asked me not to read it but i never would. I ve explicitly asked, forbade, screamed in her face never to read my website yet she done it before, hence the shut down of annabellasong. I sit endlessly in front of my computer waiting for an email that will never come. So i better sleep. At least tomorrow means one day closer to the day it may come. . Have you ever had an email you wanted to open but were also afraid to? I feel that way with about every email i receive, but i try to keep that to myself because people tend to look at me in that you re weird way when i mention it. I ve been emailing back forth with this guy i really like and they re typically harmless, it just me. Always just me. Well, if you have an eating disorder like me, a few small words in his previous email would have freaked you out just as much as it did me. You re so tiny. Now, i haven t seen him in 2 1 2 years and over that amount of time i could have lost and gained and lost all sorts of weight. And does he mean short (i m 5 1) or thin? The consensus (between my therapist and i, my sister didn t agree) was that i would ask him what he meant, but not really seem like i was looking for an answer. And i specifically said lol you don t have to answer that. Unfortunately i m still in this stage where i m not sure what he really liked about me the last time we talked in person (because who could ever really like me for me when i m thin?? ). And what if i m different? It sucks having an eating disorder, and i mean beyond any explanation that i can provide. I try to explain to my therapist how totally insanely freaked out, mortified, paranoid and panicked, hopeless and helpless i feel at all times, but i get the sense that it beyond anyone comprehension. I seem calm, sometimes happy, and it angers me that although i appear calm and possibly happy on the outside, i m freaking out in so many ways and feeling utterly hopeless to change my situation on the inside. Words don t explain that and i can t show the emotion that making someone understand requires. There this new system in my head that makes it impossible for me to make my own decisions when it comes to food. I assume that because nothing makes me happier than depriving myself of food. But it sure puts a damper on things, especially when your level of self esteem is directly related to the amount of food you turn away. And because no one gets it, no one can ease your pain. Hearing someone say they re happy you re eating better translates to i m happy you re failing and when your self esteem is highest is also the time when everyone around you is resenting they pain you re causing them. All you can do is smile inside because that translates to you re doing a fantastic job! It like telling an alcoholic or drug addict that they have to learn to drink or use in moderation, because they re not allowed to stop using. How do you think that would go over? Unfortunately you can t live without food and you can t live if you binge eat either. It must be in moderation. I think i d rather be an alcoholic. . I don t know if any of you have tried to modify or create anything in the new joomla! 1. 5 code , but after reading tutorials, forum posts, the documentation wiki and various source files, i ve come to the conclusion that the joomla! Development team doesn t want any of us php non-geniuses fooling with the system anymore. I can pretty easily run a database query, modify a database, create and edit files, and do all sorts of other things with php when i need to. But this is ridiculous. It gibberish to me. I purchased a book on pear a while back and couldn t make heads or tails of that either. Once you get into classes methods and those double colon things i start to lose focus. I think i may have squeezed by with a c- in java and joomla! Code is spending way too much time reminding me of java at the moment. I just want to connect to the database. What all this jfactory and jimport crap?!?! The old configuration file didn t require anything but require to call up the file. And values. Now you need jfactory and $config = $get- blah blah blah. It way over my head. And it not enough to include the factory. Php file either. That then needs a file to define the jimport function. It just goes on and on. You can t create a stand-alone direct access required file anymore and it sure limits the possibilities. At least from my point of view. I m sure i can run a query without the config. File but that would require each user to re-enter their database information which makes it not at all integrated. Which of course defeats the purpose. For this website, it just got too big to manage and i had to find some way to organize the data. Other sites however, i ve used joomla! For the login and security, but every page is hand coded and integrates only through include. If i want any control over my sites, i have to leave joomla! Out occasionally. I m finding it all very disappointing. . Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for. . All general category blog sites and general blogs incorporated in a portal of some sort. Usually these sites hold no particular purpose other than serving as an interesting read if you get bored at work. If your site is placed here, it is meant as a compliment!. All my various correspondence with other scam sites and billinghlp. Com billingsvc. Com (which, in my opinion, should not be allowed to do business) regarding fullreleases posted on scam this is such a scam. Cancel your credit card immediately because they will not respond to you, they will not refund your money, they ll just keep charging you. I had one over payment of the first . 95 and knew i was probably screwed. I contacted them, received no response, and a month later was charged again by a slightly different company billinghlp. Com vs. Billingsvc. Com. I now have to have my card canceled and the bank is doing an investigation before they refund my money. I don t know what type of investigation they do, but as long as i don t get charged again, i can live with it. The site was (for me too) fullreleases and the first two charges came from billingsvc. Com 2063579 us8006579 (. 95, which i authorized, and . 27 which i didn t) and the second from billinghlp. Com palma de (. 45). I don t see why they aren t shut down yet. Someone owns the site and has a static ip address and is charging us every time. It just doesn t seem like it should be that difficult with today technology. To billinghlp. Com there are two unauthorized charges on my account (and i m assuming there will be more based on this company track record) 6881289 eguidestore 2008-05-04 21 20 51 and 7569703 eguidestore 2008-06-04 21 31 36 i authorized . 95 and this company has charged me two more times in the amount of . 27 and . 45. This is illegal and i m not the first to have this problem with them. I ve contacted the company and they do not respond. Your site is just helping them commit fraud. Cancelling my (unauthorized! ) order through billinghlp. Com this is fraud. I know fullreleases charged this and i did not authroize it. I authorized one charge and no more. I even read their entire terms of service and it mentioned nothing of additional charges. Cancelling my 2nd (unauthorized! ) order through billinghlp. Com i have not authorized additional charges on my card. This company is not authorized to charge me for any subscription according to the terms of service that i agreed to. I read through them and they were only authorized to charge the initial . 95. Period. The website was fullreleases (regardless of the company name) and it just fraud. They don t respond to billing support inquiries. They should all go to jail. Billinghlp. Com logo at the bottom of their site (note that they do not have a secure certificate available even though to log in, you must use your credit card number we are proud that our customers have come to trust us and we now have an excellent relationship with our client base, which we consider of vitalimportance. Now, my new credit card doesn t work after a month of emails and phone calls back and forth with my bank. They re all incompetent over there. (i could go on and on about all the incompetent people they hire from india (not that all people in india are incompetent, just the cheap labor they hire to replace local support personnel? ), but i ll save that for another post. July 30, 2008 12 07pm a side note to readers, if you ve cancelled your credit card, go to billinghlp (or whatever your credit card charge says) and sign in with your credit card number and your email, and cancel all of your subscription orders. Then be sure to go to back and have fullreleases or directfileaccess remove you from their system cancel your account. I don t know if cancelling your orders will stop the charges, so i would block your credit card, but this is just another thing that might help. Contacting billinghlp about the fraudulent charges is usesless. In my experience. . These scumbags are using a different front called fullaccess. Differentname, same rip-off. I got screwed out of 31. 00 when i only authorized 4. 25. Ihave begun proceedings through my mastercard account company. (. Thanks guys, thanks a lot!! I was about to purchase an account with them. Thanks for letting me know many many thanks. I had the same experience as urs. They are the worst!! Thank god my bank was soefficient, they shut down my credit card asap and create a new one for me. All hell with billinghlp and fullrelease!. I have also suffered similarly due to fullreleases, billinghlp anddirectfileaccess they also charged unathorized payments from my mastercard. I am planning to report the fraud to police and interpol and also taking legalactions against the site and will call the compensation. I need the support from everyone to track the spamming guys. Warning to all reader, never ever purchase any thing from fullreleases. I had the same experience as diana. These people are bogus! Thankfully, my c. Cpany is allowing me to challenge the charges and is going to credit me,although i had to cancel the card and get a new one. . Hi guys, i fell prey to the same scam. I have had more success in making contacthowever. I sent an email through there online request form and received a link to thefollowing to track your orders http billinghlp sup port i called my credit cards dispute resolution line and we were able to get intouch with an agent through the following 1-866-905-5126. Despite the fact that i had cancelled my orders online, she said she wouldcancel and refund and gave me confirmation numbers. Her data base had me listed as purchasing anti-virus software and she had norecord of the order i. D. Or product names listed on the previously mentionedwebsite. I will continue to monitor my card, but i have the feeling i will be fightingthis to the end. Hope this helps. . Book reviews are my reviews for books in the following topics self injury, depression suicide, eating disorders, ocd, poetry, mental health other, novels novelettes, suspense, horror, non-fiction. If you would like to add a review on any mh-related books (only), send them over and i& ,ll add your name handle as the reviewer. . .
See more: http://amas-veritas.com